Tag Archives: Positive

How to Avoid a Flatting Disaster

Moving into a flat can be an exciting time for any teenager. You finally get to have a slice of independence, have your own room, and begin your life of adulthood. When you meet your flatmates everything seems great at first and they seem so wonderful to live with. But soon enough you’ll realise there are many types of flatmates out there that are difficult to live with. The friendly atmosphere can come crashing down at any minute.

While I was at University I learnt that flatting can sometimes be a nightmare, different personalities clash, and some people just don’t see eye to eye. It can be rather scary adjusting to a new city, a new job, and living with strangers/friends. So what can you do when you get bad flat mates? How can you keep the peace? Over the years there are a few things that I’ve learnt. Here we go:

  1. Choose Carefully

Sometimes you might not always be so lucky to share a flat with people you know so well or get to meet them first. Especially if you’re studying and desperate for a flat. If you are looking for a flat look at the job advertisement first. This will usually have keywords like respectful, considerate and so on. Do you fit what they’re searching for? Then again if you’re searching for a new flatmate a good question can be, tell me a bit about yourself? If they don’t meet the criteria or if they send off negative signals, pay attention! Once you sign a 12 month contract, or a long flat contract, that’s a long time to live with people you aren’t so fond of.

If my experiences have taught me anything it’s that you should never live with (some) friends. Even if you think you know them things can turn ugly. Until that person is in your face 24/7 and you start to see their flaws you might be in for a big shock. You eventually have to learn how to stand up for yourself otherwise you get walked all over. There can be tantrums, arguments, and all sorts and you really wonder why on earth you agreed to live with that person in the first place! It’s just not worth ruining a friendship by living together. Then again it’s not all doom and gloom! Living with some friends has been a breeze. We got along well because we were similar people, I suppose that’s what it comes down to.

2. Hang Out

If there are different cultures and people in a flat it can be really good to just hang out with each other (if you want to). My friends and I would cook dinner together once a week and have a good old chat. We would bake some muffins or go to the movies. Celebrating birthdays was also another big thing! If you happen to be living with strangers there are a few things that can break the ice. I remember watching TV shows with a girl I had just met and eating junk food together. Perfect. There are always going to be people you just instantly click with. Another great way to get to know people is to have a gathering, some call it a flat warming. It gives people a chance to bring their friends round and just chill out. Anyone for cheese and crackers? Yum.

3. Have a Cleaning System that Everyone Agrees on

dirty-dishesWhen there is a system failure in a flat it usually comes down to cleaning. People eventually end up yelling, “Did you do the dishes, did you REALLY do the dishes?” These type of people will leave a mess everywhere. Their room has a stench in it that is slowly wafting down the hallway, and you’re terrified to even think about what is under their bed. As a rule of basic hygiene if you make a mess you clean up that mess. You’d be surprised at how many people cannot do this.

I’ve seen people leave unspeakable things in the toilet, on the toilet floor, and on top of the toilet yet they just leave it there even after they are politely asked to clean it. WHY. Were these people not potty trained early in life? Have they no decency? I admit I’m a tidy person but that does not mean I want to clean up disgusting things. It doesn’t matter if you’re lazy or if you have different levels of hygiene in the flat it’s a team effort. Anyway, morale of the story is that you should try to lay out some ground rules for cleaning. Maybe a roster (if there are like 8 people in one flat) or a quick chat as soon as you move into a flat to see what works for everyone. Otherwise the arguments over cleaning will never end.

3. Be Considerate of Others

You’ve just settled into bed and you’re about to fall asleep, when BAM loud music starts playing and the house starts shaking. When you have to get up early for work the next day or you have an exam what can you do? If you’re losing sleep it can cause bloodshot eyes and grumpiness. Not good. It’s all about the golden rule; be considerate. It’s handy to know when people in the flat work, when they need their sleep, and when it’s appropriate to have friends round. Say for instance if there are quiet people in a flat versus loud and outgoing ones it can be a bit of a clash. If people continue to be inconsiderate and throw loud parties and you don’t like it, perhaps that flat culture isn’t the right one for you.

A Happy Home is a Good Home

There are some big clues as to when a flat is not a good place to live. It really isn’t worth staying somewhere that makes you feel like you have to hide in your room or avoid other people. I’ve met some really cool people while flatting, and others just don’t gel so well together. Flatting can be really fun when you find the right people to do it with.

I hope this helps anyone who might be flatting for the first time, or anyone struggling who is on the verge of tears. If you do end up living in a bad flat hopefully one day you can look back and laugh about it. After all flatting is only temporary. One day you’ll have your own place and it’ll be pure bliss.

Happiness

Is it a just a word, a feeling, can you taste it or see it? I have always struggled with the word happiness. Some days it embraces me, and other days I wonder if it even exists. I guess I’ve never really sat down and asked myself if I’m happy. I had a think and came up with a few things that contributes to a better mood and overall positivity when I’m by myself, things are hard, or I feel like eating a tub of ice cream.

Have a balance

When I wrote down on paper what was important to me and then put a number next to it based on how much effort I gave it such as study, job, etc, it certainly wasn’t balanced. We give our time to further our careers, and our hearts to people to show them we appreciate them. Sometimes we get so caught up doing other things that there’s no curfew. No proper bed time or enough food. It’s important to get enough of both. Balancing work, or study, and a personal life can be done. There may not always be a perfect balance, but sometimes re evaluating or creating a schedule can take away some stress. I myself love some pen, paper, and making lists.

Have some “you” time

It feels great caring for others and been there for them but it’s also important to appreciate yourself as well. Whether you’re busy all the time, in a relationship, or just never have time to relax ask yourself when was the last time you did something nice for yourself? Can’t remember? Shopping sprees are fun yes. I’m thinking smaller here like little acts of kindness. Maybe a bath with some cucumbers on the eyes, and I know how fabulous I feel after a haircut. No harm in having a glass of red wine (or grapejuice) or getting a nice massage. Buy yourself some flowers next time you walk past some bright pretty ones, a gift to yourself because why not? Treat yourself once in a while. 

Don’t give up

So I’ve looked back on this year and the achievements I’ve made. I stepped out of my comfort zone and got to learn about my family history and myself whilst writing some essays for University. I know that a relationship can’t always be perfect, but it’s worth it if you care about each other no matter what. I learnt that you’re not always going to get along with everybody. There are things I’m proud of and maybe not so proud of. There were good times and bad times. No matter what happened I learnt that…

You can’t change the past, but you can change the future

Do more of what makes you happy

  • Singing is something I truly miss doing. Just in my own time. Something about it is so peaceful, the way you can change a cover to make it sound like your own or just sing a long to a favourite artist. Writing songs though is not my strong point.
  • Cooking. Before I went to University I used to cook more and experiment with recipies. Now I’m lazy and buy ready made pizza or just make simple dishes. Alas it is time to get creative in the kitchen again.
  • Bikes. One day I want a bike with a basket so I can take my picnic in it to the park. Perfect.
  • Reading. I haven’t gone to a library in months expect for study. So to be able to get books out to read for leisure was rather glorious. How could I forget how great books are? They’re inspiring. I can just shut out the world and get lost in a good novel. Beats technology any day.
  • Excersize: Dance around the room! It’ll make you feel better and awesome. Even just a walk around the block on a sunny day is said to improve a persons mood, so I shall be sure to get my dose of sunlight.

Walter Mitty

Don’t stay angry

To often I focus on the negative, over analyze, worry, and get over emotional. I read somewhere that you shouldn’t let the sun set on your anger which is very true. Probably why I can’t sleep very well because I worry about silly things. Is something bothering you that you need to let go of? LET IT GO. Let it go. Can’t hold it back anymooore.

Keep your friends close

Having close bonds with other people can be a key to happiness. Even just sending a text or catching up with an old friend is a great feeling. It’s like nothing has changed even if you’re apart for long periods of time. The friends I have known for years have been there for me in times of need, they give me advice, have got me through some rough times, and I’m there for them as well. If people want to be in your life they will be there. I can count my close buddies on my fingers because that’s how many I need. Cheers to friendships.

Give more

So I’ve only ever really donated my clothes. I suppose that makes me sound lazy when there are many people in need. There are foodbanks around, the SPCA, and charities. Maybe I can do my part and something more to help no matter how small or large the gesture is.

Be happy with yourself first

Happiness begins from within which is something Yoda would probably say. If the bright beams of positivity shine from you and you’re happy with yourself, then you can spread the good vibes to other people as well and everyone shall feel the love.

Listen to some good tunes

There are a lot of great happy songs to brighten the mood but the one I always come back to is this one by The Fray. The meaning behind it and it’s message is just perfect really. Give it a listen 🙂

Start the new year with a smile

It’s nice to have a fresh start and a new year. Everyday is a new start though really. I’ll be 21 next year and in my last year of University. I know life will throw things at me and that things won’t always be easy. I hope to find the strength to get through whatever happens and be grateful that I am waking up each day alive and well. What more could you ask for really?