Tag Archives: Love


I liked the way your t-shirt smelt. The fragrance of soap, and a hard days work.

I held this piece of fabric close to me the day we stopped believing.

We don’t share songs or joyful words together.

We are constant stars drifting towards separate galaxies.

Now you stare at me with taunting eyes, and no longer are your arms wrapped around me.

Is this what we have become. Tortured souls.

A reckless heart that has been sewn up with many stitches.

Your bitter words slice through my soul.

We could have soared through the sky with excitement, and quivering hands.

We should have made it.

I used to know how your t-shirt smelt.

Now I do not even remember your face.

Twenty two

Well I’m now twenty two. There have been plenty of milestones and great memories. A few fashion disasters, and a mullet at some point in my childhood due to an accidental hair cut. Most of all in this post I wanted to share a few things I think are important.

1) Believe in yourself. You have to start by raising, and building yourself up when others don’t believe in you. The people who achieve amazing extraordinary things are the ones who were told they couldn’t do it. Be confident in everything you do. I believe you can fly, and yes you can touch the sky.

2) If you’re having a bad day, remember it will pass. Some days you may feel like there is no point getting out of bed. You feel like you’re not where you want to be in life. You’re happy for others who are doing well but wish you could reach that level. It all takes time and everyone works at their own pace. Don’t sweat too much. Try again tomorrow.

3) Find kindred spirits. We often connect to people at different levels. Finding people who are eager to talk about similar interests, and having intellectual conversations is probably the nicest feeling where you’re both on the same page.

4) Don’t be consumed by technology. There are plenty of people who can’t stay offline. We live in a digital age where people are addicted to technology. We can’t go anywhere without phones or taking a selfie on holiday. Sitting a few inches away from a performer and we still somehow have our phones out.

Some wander the streets and get injured playing games on their phones. Families sit in a living room all on their phone, iPad, or other device. It shows how sucked into technology we are. Bring it back to the old days. Write letters or send a card. Read the                       paper. Could you last without a cellphone in your hand?

5) Mental illness. A person may just be feeling down and we can never know the pain of what someone is going through. It could be anything from a break up. Feeling depressed, anxiety or any form of an inner battle. It doesn’t define them the label is what society has created. They’re afraid and they may not even want to tell anyone about it because of the stigma around mental illness. I know people who are affected in different ways but I will always be a friend if they need to talk. During research for study I found Sir John Kirwan to be a great advocate on the matter as someone who has gone depression himself. He says depression is not a weakness. You can check out more of his talk here. 

6) Don’t think just write. My friend gave me an inspiring book by Steven Pressfield about creativity.

One of the first things Pressfield talks about is resistance. He basically sums up my problem when it comes to writing; procrastination;

“We don’t just put off our lives today, we put them off until our deathbed. Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny. This second we can turn the tables on resistance” – The War of Art; Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles. 

7) A higher power. Some meditate and find peach within. Whereas others still search for that extra thing that seems to be missing from their life. Whether it is faith or religion everyone has a different opinion. People seem to be on the same path of trying to discover the meaning of life. All of the various religions lead to the one conclusion of finding a higher power. Many people feel at ease knowing someone is guiding, and watching over them no matter what. What do you believe in?

8) Share the love. To many people bring each other down because of jealousy or hate. The pressure from the media is always telling us how to act, look, and feel. Share the positive attitude. Women, and men are constantly battling with self destructive thoughts and you might not even know it. The world is a dark place to live in right now. There is a lot of negativity in the news. Martin Luther King Jr and his wise words resonate today more than ever.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

9) Spend time alone. You don’t need to chase after people to prove you’re important. Focus on yourself. Practice what you enjoy to do. When I’m older I will probably want to have told my younger self don’t waste time to just try to put effort into pleasing other people, men, women, friends, relationships. It will be there for you to pursue when the time comes.

10) A balanced mind goes well with a balanced body. If you look after your mind then the results show on the outside. Good food with a few treats. Now it may take me a while to get rid of some dark eye circles due to years of studying, but hey the crinkles and wrinkles show character right? I enjoy a nice face mask at the end of each week from LUSH, and a chance to detox all the stress or jumbled thoughts. A cup tea with a good book is a nice little getaway.

11) Love. The word has been thrown around so much by people who don’t know how to express or show it in actions rather than just words. It can be used against someone, and an excuse for bad behaviour. I don’t think it’s fair to settle for less if someone gives it their all, and in return they get half attempts at romance and no effort. Today’s generation confuses short satisfaction with real relationships the notion has become so twisted that it’s all turned into fun and games. There are shortcuts and cheats to trying to win someone’s heart just for a “laugh.” I give a round of applause to the good gentleman, and kind women who respect and value the word love. So when can you know what on earth the mystery is? The four letter word that has had people puzzled for centuries it remains an unsolved riddle for many.

12) Laughter.  Sometimes a sense of humour is the best type of charm. Those quirky and fun people you meet who dazzle everyone with their wit and charm. If I’m remembered for one thing I hope people say I made them laugh. I once dreamed of been a comedian but performing in front of people is not a strength of mine. I do enjoy it when people make me laugh. You’re doing something right.

13) Forgiveness. Whoever did you wrong, stole your barbie, and called you names or bullied you in school. Whoever hurt you do your best to forgive. It doesn’t mean they need to know or that you need to get in touch. Some people do enjoy upsetting others, and if that’s how they treat people that’s their problem not yours. Let it go and feel at peace.

14) Speak up about causes. Save the animals. Stop the violence. There are plenty of things to fight for in today’s society. Since when did violence and hate become the norm? It’s the few people who speak up that make a difference. Peaceful protests, and positive leaders who inspire those for generations to come.

15) Friends and family. They are always there for you and see you grow, and become who you are today. Encouraging and also many laughs along the way it always a blessing to have supportive friends and family.

16) Never stop learning. Education doesn’t stop once you leave school or stop studying. Going out into the world with new experience is where the learning begins and it never stops. The thirst to know more about life is always there.

17) Have good role models. Looking up to people who are down to earth, and kind can influence a person a lot. They can be inspired by those around them, and influenced in a positive way that makes them strive to achieve great things. I’m inspired by women who continue to fight for their rights for equality and everyday people who try to make a change. We wouldn’t be where we are today without the sacrifice of those people.

18) We are all geniuses. Some of the people considered to be the smartest in the world were ridiculed, and laughed at. It’s the people who think outside of the box that make you really sit up and listen. Everyone is good at something, and has different talents. We all have something to offer.

19) What is an empath. A great quote from Sylvester McNutt says;

My superpower is the ability to feel. I am an empath. I relate to and feel other’s pain, joy, and happiness. It’s a gift and a curse.

Empaths often have great hearts, and people feel comfortable opening up to them. Showing emotion is seen as a sign of strength, and consideration of others. It seems that often these people put others happiness before their own so it is important to take care of yourself as well. If you’re interested to read more about empaths this article by Christel Broederlow is quite interesting. I can relate to some of these things, and I’m sure many others do as well.

20) Enjoy every birthday. As the years go by I still like waking up to balloons. Eating cake, and having a jolly good time whether I’m ten years old or fifty. Yay for Disney movies.

21) Embrace yourself. Imagine if we were all content with how we looked. The scars and the quirky things about ourselves. Would you hide that cute laugh that sounds a bit like a seal when you get excited or would you embrace it? Would you step outside without make up on? The truth is we’ll always feel a bit insecure. Learning to love yourself is like climbing the mountain of self acceptance you will fall a goat may get in your way, and one day you will reach the top. You are you, and I am me. How brilliant is that?

22)  Take a step back and see how far you’ve come. The ups and downs of life have made me hopefully a bit wiser. Knowing right from wrong. Things could have gone different and sometimes things happen that are out of my control. I am always taught a lesson by life whether I like it or not. I have achievements behind me which I am proud of. They’re milestones to look back on to say hey I actually did that! If something embarrassing happens I try to laugh it off. There are fails and triumphs. As a huge Lord of the Rings and Hobbit fan I shall say each day has an unexpected journey around the corner so let’s go on an adventure!

A twisted love

“What on earth are you wearing?” Tonight she had made the extra effort to look nice for him, the black dress accentuated her curves. She had carefully done her hair and make-up so that maybe, just maybe, he would notice her for once. Her shoulders slumped at his response. She reached for a tissue in her handbag and said nothing as she wiped the lipstick off of her face.


A man is not hard to please, give him a beautiful woman to look at and he will be satisfied, especially if he can hold her in his arms. Of course this is how he felt when he first met his true love. He could not stop staring at her face, the way she laughed or when she dropped food on herself. He believed things were fine between them. Of course technology gave him freedom to do as he wished. Surely his partner could understand it is impossible for a man to have eyes for only one woman. 


The woman stared at the ring on her left finger as they sat at the table in the restaurant, twirling it round and around. What would happen if it fell off? Would it all be over? The man who had proposed to her was sitting across from her. His enthusiasm about life was something that had always appealed to her. Yet there she was staring at the other couples around the room. Each one had their own different story, their secrets and doubts. “Honey? Did you hear what I said?” She nodded, even though she had no interest in what he said anymore. Her hand picked at the food on her plate. Although it was her favourite dish she had lost her appetite.


Things were different a few years ago. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They were glued together like any fresh romance. Every morning he would wake up to this woman. Just the smell of her hair or her skin would get him excited. He loved this woman, every inch of her. Now it seemed like a chore waking up to her, he had enough to deal with in life without having to worry about this woman and her needs. 


The woman did not feel goosebumps when they kissed. When their bodies touched and became one there was no passion. She was trapped because she loved him yet she felt miserable at the same time. The one person who was meant to listen to her sorrows or joys never did. She was merely a ghost, drifting between the world of love and hate.


The man turned away from the womans questioning eyes. He had got what he wanted and that was good enough for now. 


“Good night, I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

V for Valentines

Any day of the year you’re entitled to prance around happily single laughing at couples who have romps in public. Rolling your eyes those in love. It’s fine to be free. Nobody cares until Valentines day.

You’re reminded how alone you are simply by a date on the calendar. A date.  How cruel of them to call it that. My yearly ritual used to be watching Pride and Prejudice by myself with a box of chocolates. Wishing Mr Darcy would pop out of my closet with his dashing top hat. Then it would be back to reality where the only thing that pops out of my closet is a bundle of sheets I attempted to fold. Alas, pause and realize there are so many fun things to do on Valentines day for those who are single to mingle;

  • Go to town with your friends and party.
  • Ring up your parents and tell them how much you love them!
  • Buy your friends silly gifts, have a sleepover and throw popcorn at one another. 
  • Treat yourself to a shopping spree buy yourself something nice you’ve earned it.
  • If you’re feeling down write a list of thing you love about yourself. As vain as it sounds, because if you don’t love yourself how can you love anyone else? 
  • Dress up as Cupid, run around shooting rubber arrows at people yelling “gotcha!”


Valentines encourages to shower their partner in roses and chocolate. Propose with a burger ring, say the L word whilst throwing Taco’s in the air.

Short relationships: For those in new relationships you perhaps feel this day is a reminder of how little you know about your person. You may not have had time to ask your partner all their favourite things in the world during an intense french kiss. You become like 50 Cent asking twenty one questions to make sure you get the right present without scaring them away.

Long relationships: Now if you’ve being dating for many many moons spice things up a bit if things are a bit like a washing machine going around on the same cycle..continue reading. Here I have my top ten tips of what I believe can be done. Tt doesn’t always have to be the male taking charge. Ladies it’s time for you to dominate. Break the cliche rules for once and sweep your man off their feet. Let the games begin. 

My top ten tips for Valentines day

1) Suprise them: Before the evening arrives send them something cute at work. Flowers, edible flowers, a cute handmade card. Just don’t give away what you have planned for later. 

2) Gift time: It doesn’t have to be extravagant or cost a million dollars. Not all women want teddy bears and most men can buy their own after shave. If you have a personal joke with your partner, make something out of that, a photo, a quote on something. Get creative!

3) Set the mood: Dress up in something nic not revealing to much flesh ladies. You want them to at least get through the first course. Spray yourself and your pillows (for later) with your signature perfume he/she loves. If they pass out you may have sprayed to much. 

4) Make him/her dinner: There is no better way to a mans heart than by food. If you’re boyfriend/girlfriend is always doing nice things for you, buying you coffee, food. Well it’s time to turn the tables and make them dinner. Takeaways is cheating sorry Mrs Doubtfire but it is. If you can’t even cook toast or an egg,practice a few easy dishes. It’s so much more special to eat home made food. If you refuse to cook book reservations for somewhere nice.

5) Serenade them: If you’re into music, play an instrument. Dedicate a song to them. 

6) Do a little dance: This is mostly for the ladies if you’re feeling really confident, and at ease with this person learn a simple but sexy dance for your man.

7) Pour a glass: What’s for dessert? Who knows. Buy some sort of dessert you both enjoy. Pour a glass of wine and make a toast. You should feel comfortable exploring things with your partner, and been able to openly communicate. 

8) Bath time: If you’re feeling romantic have a bath with some candles. Even better when you have the bath to yourself. I love this scene with Chandler in the bath. Relax, and leave all your troubles behind. You need bubbles lots of bubbles. 

9) Movies: If you both never have the time to snuggle up and watch a movie together now is the time. Try to find a movie you’ll both enjoy. So you aren’t crying while your partner awkwardly pats your back. Some of my favourites;

  1. Never been kissed – My all time favourite movie of Drew Barrymore which I’ve watched about 198394 times. 
  2. Dirty Dancing – I have a weakness for dance movies.
  3. Hitch – Never fails to make me laugh.
  4. 40 Days and 40 nights – Great message about waiting for that right person. 
  5. When Harry Met Sally. A funny movie that will make anyone laughh.

10) Remember how you first met. It’s probably the most memorable thing to do something you did on your first date. Bring up your first memory or thought of them. Talk about how great they are. Compliments compliments. So much better when they mean something. 

You poured wine on me by accident, and then I knew…

(whilst pouring them wine, in a glass of course) Bit of a dramatization but hey. It shows you’re still just as crazy about this person the day you locked eyes even though time has passed.

That’s all folks

So there you have it! Don’t attempt all of these unless you’re feeling like you have a lot of time such as a whole day or at least an evening. If you already have something planned for your special someone,. I wish you the best of luck and may the romance follow you in the air like a fly that just won’t go away. To all the single ladies and gentleman out there some of you may not care about this day, and some might. Either way just remember each year you get a birthday which is a day about YOU. As well as other holidays you get to stuff your face with chocolate whenever you feel like it so chin up and smile because;

You is kind, you is smart, you is important – The Help

Happy Valentines everyone. 


Here are the top twelve resolutions I have found along with a few of my own. This way seems easier to focus on with one goal per month. I use the word goal because it reminds me of football. Once you complete it you can run around with your shirt over your head Kidding. Alas, at the end of the year I will reflect and see how many I completed. Some keep notebooks, but I saw this is quirky artistic way to remind myself of my goals with a vision board

Get creative and make a collage like this lovely person!
Get creative and make a collage like this lovely person 🙂

1) Only you are the reason for your happiness.

We live in a world where it’s drilled into our minds how to look, talk, walk, and dress a certain way. People think you need a good job. A partner or a family, and a house to be happy. What if you have one of those things yet you’re miserable? Big, small, round, or thin be happy with yourself for nothing is nicer than a smile that radiates from the inside to the outside. Be a bundle of joy this year. Let know one come to you without leaving happier. 

images (1)

2) Spend more time with friends and family.

I’m rewinding and bringing it back a few decades. Fade technology because I want to write letters to people. Not typed, but handwritten. With a feather and ink if I’m feeling a bit fancy. I was seriously born in the wrong era. I used to have many pen pals. It was a easy way to stay in touch with my family who live mostly in Europe. A letter feels more special than reading back on an email or text especially if there’s a dramatic tear on one of the words. In general I hope I can do better this year, and keep in touch with the people who are special in my eyes.

3) Make peace with your past so it doesn’t spoil your present.

What I’ve done in the past I have learnt from, but it doesn’t mean it has to be brought up everyday to get back at someone or to feel sorry for myself. We question what is going to happen then get all caught up about it when really who knows what on earth will happen. I know friends fall apart and fall together. I have learnt it is best to leave some of them be. You can’t please everyone, but I’m the type of person who just can’t leave an argument hanging. Make peace so you can have your present.

4) Don’t just exercise, have fun.


A good body is 80% diet,10% genetics and 10% exercise. This doesn’t mean starve yourself. I have heard people not eating after certain times of the day or working out at the gym for eight hours. Get fit not sick. Also sitting around liking photos of girls/guys who have intense abs well they certainly did more than sit around to get where they are today.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is another good inspiration for myself at the moment. After watching Pumping Iron with the men and the sequel with the women. It is truly insane to see what lies underneath the body, and I respect people who do it the natural way. There is a difference between looking strong, and being strong.

Exercise. Arnold is on to something when he states you can’t tell someone to exercise because it’s a put off. Do what you find fun! Instead of doing the same thing at the gym change it up, go for runs, boxing, like hikes? Go hard. Run around. Kick a ball. I do Pilates. I run to change it up because I prefer to be outside than in the gym unless I have to be. The biggest motivation is you it’s all in your mind. You’re stronger than you think! If I throw up after an intense workout like Arnold so be it…

The last three or four reps is what makes the muscle grow. This area of pain divides the champion from someone else who is not a champion. That’s what most people lack, having the guts to go on, and just say they’ll go through the pain no matter what happens.

5) Don’t compare your life with others, you don’t know their journey.

In other words don’t be a “closet hater.” I saw a video about this and loved it. We revolve our energy and emotions so much around hating other people because they they may have something we don’t have. Rich parents. A good job. No debt. A better body. Guess what? If you want it so bad go and work for it instead of hating from a distance. I was brought up with this word meaning to kill someone in your heart. Even if I wasn’t I just really dislike the word. So stop saying that word unless you’re talking about hating spiders, go ahead. Give someone a daily compliment instead and see how much better you feel. 

6) Save money

I need some back up money because I have been in awkward situations where I have had to go into credit card zone when I really didn’t want to. When I tell this to people they say you’re young! You have time to save! I’m a student and having fun. Worrying about money is all I do sometimes so it’s time to put a bit away each week because my goal is to go overseas next year for my 21st. Money is a big barrier but at times it can be a blessing. I’ve spent over a grand on my tattoo and it’s the most special part of me. I would rather be broke and happy than be rich and miserable. 

7) Only have a few glasses

This is a personal one for me. I did a three month sober challenge last year and want to up my game and try for a year. We shall see what happens. I may not quit forever but I feel so much better when I don’t drink. One of the main reasons is it’s the biggest barrier to becoming fit. I can’t make you give up alcohol, I just hope to inspire people who think they can’t do it. Only you can change you. As for me? I want to explore the world not the bottom of a bottle.

8) Learn something new.  

Do you always trudge to the takeaway pits of doom? Pizza Hut, McDonalds. Halt my friend! It really isn’t that hard to make. I for one am addicted to Asian food. However, I can’t handle anything spicy. So I’m starting to learn how to cook it myself. I realize how cool it is to actually know what’s going into my food and alas I now have some quirky recipes to experiment with. Everyday is a new exciting adventure with these people! Bring on 2014.

  • I want to learn how to do the splits, without breaking my hips
  • Maybe learn some Muay Thai and boxing, self defence could come in handy
  • Learn how to eat/cook fabulous healthy meals/desserts/snacks.


9) Help others.

I always see videos of kind strangers helping homeless people on the street in the right way. Not handing them money but giving them a day of luxury. A day in a motel. Taking them shopping for clothes and food. I want to do this. Give someone food some clothes, and see a smile on their face. Instead of judging them for sitting there, and taking up the sidewalk. People are to quick to judge. Many homeless people do have qualifications or can get a good job but hey things are tough. I always walk past them with no change in my wallet and feel terrible. So this is my goal for this year help a brother out.

11) Read and follow these awesome top ten tips from my favourite blogger

I know I post a lot of her work but I truly admire her advice and want to follow it because it’s the dang truth! Especially this one…

Don’t lose yourself while trying to hold onto someone who doesn’t care about losing you.

12) Live life on your own terms

I really admire people I met who live life according to them, they break the rules but hold the best conversations. I want to do this, this year is my year, in every way. I am in control of my body and my mind. If I say this people call me a hypocrite for something I perhaps didn’t achieve.

Take it one day at a time,  I wish you all the best for your year ahead may it surprise you, challenge you, let you meet good people, and make you laugh more because..

The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.


Don't be like this, step away from the computer and enjoy life instead of posting about it!
Don’t be like this, step away from the computer and enjoy life instead of posting about it!

Friends Lovers or Nothing

This beautiful song by John Mayer breaks down the three stages of  life, friends, lovers or nothing. Here I shall explain a few more;

Watch this movie, it explains life perfectly.

Friendzone: There are songs dedicated to it. There are pages dedicated to it. Heck, there’s a word dedicated to it. We have all been there. We have all led or done the “leading” of someone on. It is a never ending cycle down the valley of feeling secretly sorry for yourself. Males seem to get especially distgruntled at this concept. Any girl that did not give them the second thought of day is considered to be a heartless creature with snakes sprouting from their head, also known as Medusa. But alas laddies consider this first.

“I don’t want to ruin the friendship”

He or she could be your best/good friend, the most hilarious person. So much so that you spit out your juice all over their face with pure joy and laughter. You may skip to the bakery together, snapchat eachother flirtatious photos with endless winky faces. Sip from the same straw because yes you are that adventurous. Sing along to “your” song together. But if there is no physical attraction there at the start, middle, or end of this friendship with this person whatsoever, and you shudder at the thought of lip locking with them. Well, you know what to do. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Run for the hills like the Sound of Music.

Friends with benefits: “We’re just friends” You are far more than that if you become physically and emotionally involved with this person. If you use this as an excuse to not settle down, to get a few moments of  “fun” meaningless pleasure with no strings attatched, or because you feel you will get bored with this person. Think about it. You either want to be with someone or you do not.

Lovers: Some people are meant to fall in love/for eachother. But not meant to be together. No matter how good looking the person is or how many approvals they have from your friends, looks and charm only last so long. The excitment of meeting the person eventually fades. You wonder why you are dating when you don’t even know little things about eachother. Understandable if you don’t know their favourite colour. But if you start to forget their name completely, maybe it’s time to forget the relationship.

After the break up there is the “we can still be friends because I feel sorry for you speech” The awkwardness in the air can be sliced and spread onto toast. If you weren’t friends before whatsoever, there is no point digging around in the sand with a spade trying to hold onto something that was never there. Because you will most likely grab onto a jellyfish, And get stung. You meet someone, you date them, then you decide to be friends. Perhaps switch the order up next time and see what happens.

ImageEx: One definition of ex means without. You are without this person for a reason. At times after a fresh break up you are two candles (scented of course) roaming the earth, when you lock eyes, that flame ignites all over again. It is a habit that almost seems impossible to break because you know them, are comfortable with them, can even fart around them.  They are the wax from the candle you can’t seem to shake off. Shake it out shake it out. Oh woaaah. At the end their true colours will come out if you continue to let the flame burn. Spit on it, throw water on it. You can find a much nicer candle.

Second defintion: Carpet tiles offered at a sale price. You may be available but you should not let yourself be walked all over. If you were that important to them they would not have let you go in the first place. You broke up because something was broken that could not be fixed. If you keep going back to this person you will continue to feel cheap when you wake up, like those poor carpet tiles on sale. Liking pages on Facebook such as “his new girlfriend/boyfriend looks like a sloth” to drop hints at your ex will get you no where. It’s immature so stop. You know where the unfriend button is. You will never move on if your personal life is such a tangled web of drama and hate that not even a spider would go near. All you can do is remember the memories and move on, instead of hating this person. Because wouldn’t you rather this person be with someone else and happy, instead of with you and not happy?

Nothing: People are like onions, they have many layers. They make you cry, and at times you wonder why you decided to choose this onion in the first place. If you are sitting in bed and emotionally distressed after a bad break up or simply because you are single and long for someone to cuddle at night instead of your hot water bottle. Then let all the emotions out. Everyone breaks down once in awhile. Click on the quote below for a few chuckles.

“If I’m not with somebody who really excites or inspires me, then I’d rather be by myself” 

Like number 24 says, you don’t NEED anyone. There is no rush to settle down. You are discovering new things and new people everyday. You are single, memyself, and pie. You can look at a person and not feel guilty for “checking” them out. You have no obligation to invest your emotions into a relationship, spending everyday with that person then feeling clueless after it is over, wondering what do with yourself. As you grow older you will learn to choose happiness. Instead of spending your precious time with someone and not feeling happy.

We cross bridges all the time between the three categories, friends, lovers or nothing. If you are stuck in a pickle (hopefully not literally) simply listen and let John Mayer serenade you with his dashing voice:

Friends, lovers, or nothing 
There can only be one 
Friends, lovers, or nothing 
There'll never be the inbetween 
So give it up.