Perks of Being a Human

The amazing touching moviePerks of Being a Wallflower is better than the “perks” of being a human at timesWhy? Because we get sick, ill, and sore. Since moving to University to a windy town I seem to be getting sick more than usual. My immune system changes like the four seasons. If you’re sick at the moment I am here with some tips on how to help.05.0218.cartoon_large


The word migraine sounds like a depressing cereal/sequel of Nutri Grain. Both are unpleasant. I have had migraines many a time. Any sound is a pain to the ears people talking, crying children, and loud traffic. The worst case was when I was crossing the road, and my vision went all hazy. I could barely see if the crossing man was red or green. I stumbled across the road looking drunk like a skunk. Crossing the road has never been so exhausting. The next episode of my migraines was when I fainted at work twice.

The second time I hit my head on the ground woke up and forgot where I was. I was putting a kiwifruit through the checkout at the time so I now have a phobia of kiwifruit. Just kidding. It was strange as I had eaten breakfast that day and felt completely fine a few minutes before. Dizziness washed over me. I’m not sure if it was due to a migraine or lack of something in my diet. so it is important to realize you may not be eating the right foods or drinking enough water. Here are a few suggestions for migraines;

  • Medication, from the doctor..because panadol and nurofen, are useless in this case
  • Hot tea – Green tea, I personally love Chai Tea
  • Sleep – take a nap, it helps
  • Crawl around the house caveman style, or walk very very slowly holding on to things, it avoids you getting dizzy and fainting
  • Breathe, in and out, try to relax
  • Rub temples – when I have a headache or am stressed rubbing my temples helps a lot
  • Massage – a proper one, it’ll relax you in an instant
  • Drink LOTS of water.

If you can’t handle the pain go to the emergency room, but you may be waiting for many hours. It isn’t fun, but better to get to the bottom of the problem than have it get any worse.


Cough cough
Cough cough

Recently I went to Eminem all pumped and excited. Then I got a sore throat on the bus to Auckland. I thought nothing of it until it ruined the entire trip I couldn’t even swallow water let alone enjoy the concert. Anything I ate scraped my throat and burnt it. It felt like eating sandpaper. I chugged back as much medicine and throaties as I could which only made things worse. Once I got back to Wellington I went straight to hospital because I couldn’t handle the sudden throbbing in my ears, I wondered what on earth it was. I had tonsillitis. Not only that, but it had gotten so bad that pus had traveled up my throat into my ears which explained the pain. Yum. My advice is don’t leave a sore throat to heal on its own you will pay the consequences. So here are a few cures for tonsillitis:

  • Medicine – pain killers, the throat spray they gave me was great it soothed my throat for a while.
  • Eat no solid foods, it’s too painful and you’ll end up wanting to cry, mash up your food like your a baby again.
  • Hot lemon, honey, and sugar/ginger.
  • Drink OJ, orange juice, get that Vitamin C.
  • LOTS OF WATER. This is when you need it the most to avoid dehydration.
  • Cold foods helped the pain of my tonsillitis a lot. I had a few ice blocks.
  • Gargle with warm water, and salt.
  • Avoid anything that can irritate the throat, smoke, bacteria, kissing strangers.
  • Try to not talk too much. If you do speak softly the voice is precious.
  • The final option is a tonsillectomy, where doctors remove the two tonsils from the back of the throat. If you get tonsilitis frequently like I do you may want to consider this option, give yourself at least a few weeks to recover from it because I have heard it’s painful afterward. Eek.

Stomach ache/bug

Ow my stomach is so sore. Darn that constipation!

No one has this kind of conversation. Maybe with their doctor. A sore stomach may be caused by anything, a bug, food poising, and an allergy to gluten or lactose. My stomach hates too much dark chocolate, and alcohol so I try to listen to my body and avoid certain things. If I have a really bad stomach drinking lots of fluids help, and eating small amounts of food if I can handle it. This article I found addresses ten stomach problems, and has advice on how to ease the dreaded embarrassment of random fart and pain;

  • Diarrhea –  if it gets really bad check out some stomach remedies in the pharmacy or supermarket, it may be because of food poisoning.
  • Fight farts – let it out, it’s a sign of a good body! Eat your food slowly to prevent gas
  • Cramps – hot water bottle hello.
  • Bloating – avoid salt and foods that cause gas.
  • Reflux – cut back on drinking and smoking because reflux causes pain in the chest. A sore throat, and coughing so avoiding these things will help.
  • Nauseated – Have grated ginger in hot water with a bit of honey.
  • Heartburn – Try not to eat too fast, limit spicy food. Drink milk as it prevents acid in the stomach.
  • Ease after eating pain – Avoid junk food.
  • Constipation – If you get gas or bloating, increase fiber intake such as whole grains, bread, high fiber cereal, try 3o minutes of exercise a day and stay hydrated
  • Hunger Pangs – An achy stomach can be more than just hunger, if you feel like its an ulcer hit up your doctor asap.

At the end of the day listen to your body and try and avoid foods that cause any of these stomach problems. Life will be much more blissful if you do.

Cold or the Flu

 It isn’t just cold, I have a cold, can you warm me up? 

New winter pick up line perhaps? Nose running, panda bags under the eyes, aching body. Cold. I am sick again this is nothing new. It happens almost every second day. Especially since moving to windy Wellington. Some people have unbreakable immune systems, I do not. There’s no magic to cure it, but here are my favourite remedies when I get the cold.

  • The dry cough; this comes with many colds. First, you get a cold in your nose, head, then your throat takes a beating and feels like it’s being ripped apart. The best thing to do for this is drink waterfalls of water. If you start coughing up blood you must be a vampire (kidding) Go to the emergency room ASAP.
  • Fever: Get someone to check your temperature regularly to make sure you’re ok
  • Flu: Symptoms include runny nose, sore stomach, a cough, and aches. Stay away from work or school, because it can spread through the air. Scary.

For general colds and sniffles;  

  • Invest in Papaw ointment or moisturizer, I had a case of dry skin around my eyes and nose which looked awful but a bit of Papaw on it each night worked wonders. Great for the lips too. Nothing worse than chapped lips.
  • Dress like you live in Antartica. Keep warm!
  • Hot water, ginger, honey, and lemon. Yum.
  • OJ. Orange juice. Drink lots of it.
  • Fruit, lots of fruit. Here are 15 top veggies and fruits to boost the immune system. Some are Grapefruit, Almonds, Watermelon, Garlic, Spinach. Low-fat yogurt prevents colds? Who would have known?
  • Sleep. Lots of sleep. Sleep like sleeping beauty.
  • Fill up a sink with hot boiling kettle water, and hold your face over it for a few minutes. Cover your neck and head with a towel so you have a min face spa. It opens the pores and also clears the icky blocked nose.
  • Do not work on assignments. If you can’t think properly there’s no point. Sleep, and work on it later.
  • Try not to sniff if you have a runny nose, it will cause a headache, trust me.
  • Olbas inhaler nasal stick kind of looks like a tampon but you stick it up each nostril and it helps clear your nose.


  • Wash your hands, wash them like you depend on it.
  • Don’t touch your mouth, nose, and eyes without washing your hands.
  • Try not to share food, or lip the same drink.
  • Cover your mouth when you sneeze! Seriously, is it that hard? Sneezing in the elbow is better because then your hand that’s just been sneezed on with nice boogers won’t get all over the furniture.
Cover that sneeze
Oops just sneezed all over my laptop. Hypocrite much.

Feeling down because you’ve lost your voice and feel like crap? Well, a husky voice is totally attractive anyway. That nasal tone mmm.

Sprain, injured, sore muscles

I sprained my ankle because I had fallen and missed to stairs. It was rather dramatic as if I had walked off the plank like in Peter Pan. So what to do if you’re injured? I don’t know much about broken bones but I assume you’re meant to not do these things;

  • Don’t go to the gym or exercise, this is how I discovered I had shin splints, running isn’t enjoyable for me
  • Use crutches if you’re given them. I limped around and ran to the bus and was almost in tears because of the pain, never again.
  • Rest the injured area on a pillow, put ice on it but not for too long
  • Take prescribed painkillers or a nice hot bath
  • Try not to wear yourself out, you need time to heal
  • Anti Flamme Original – for bumps, bruises, aches, and pains. Especially sore muscles, fabulous.
  • Sore from the gym? – I hadn’t gone in almost a month, did an intense leg day…can’t walk. You can either rest or stretch, either one will hurt.
No pain no gain
No pain no gain


Feeling crap emotionally 

If you’re sick physically, injured, or just feel down in the dumps emotionally I came across this amazing blogger who has 100 things to do when you’re sad, seriously read it. I love this one from the list along with many others;

<3 Write a list of things that you appreciate right now, in the present moment. Focus on each of them & let the love inside you well up. Even when things appear to be going really, really badly, there are always things to be happy about.

Amazeballs! She also has suggestions on 33 movies to watch if you’re feeling tired, sad, and can’t be bothered doing anything or moving out of bed.

That’s all folks!

Whether you’re sniffling whilst reading this, sneezing, farting, or crying because life is stressful at times. Just remember there is always someone there for you, a friend, partner, your fridge. If you don’t feel like seeing anyone or anything just stay in bed, relax, watch a movie, scoff some chocolate and remember to wrap up, drink up (water) and eat up. I hope you sick or injured people feel better soon 🙂 happy healing!

Typical humans
Typical humans

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