Twenty Seconds of Courage

There is no certificate, medal, or trophy to award one for having courage. I for one would not have shelves stacked with trophies listing each courageous thing I decided to do in my life. Courage is something I wish I had more of. I look back at my life so far , and I could write a novel longer than Lord of The Rings of all the times I never stood up for myself in situations that arose. There is a proverb that says;

“Fear and courage are brothers”

I let myself be treated a certain way because I felt afraid. Afraid to speak my mind and stick up for myself for fear of losing something, a friend, a job, memories to cherish. Some people drift apart never to speak again each person rowing their boat down a different bend of the river, never crossing. If they do cross they hit each other with their oars capsizing one another stubbornly. I lacked the courage to ask for an apology from people who should have given me one. I backed down from the fight like a hopeless predator trudging home with no prey. I have had people take advantage of me to get what they want they may not spell it out but their actions speak otherwise. Courage is what I need to do the right thing. I want the courage to erase people from my life and so called “friends” who should have not stayed in it to begin with.

“Courage doesn’t always roar, sometimes courage is a little voice at the end of the day saying, I’ll try again tomorrow”

I want the courage to conquer fear when it arises to welcome something I am afraid of doing. To run into it’s arms in slow motion throwing flowers behind me because I am that joyous for the challenge ahead. It is time to battle whatever problem occurs, and not let it ruin me. I need to remind myself it will not go away on it’s own. I often talk to people when I am feeling sad, happy, angry. I can tell the whole world if I felt like it, but it does not solve anything. I do this to much, I lay my issues on other people then feel as if I talk about myself to much. Yet talking to them is a good outlet it keeps me from going insane. Perhaps all I need is to find a balance, and find more courage to sort my own issues out by myself. Because confiding in the wrong people has had it’s consequences in the past.

“When you try your best but you don’t succeed” – Coldplay

At times when I feel as if I can never succeed or get to where I want to be I think of this song by Coldplay. It reminds to have courage to persevere in hard times to not give up. I have come to far to give up now on what I want to do. When a task seems impossible there is no time to brush it aside. I break it down every corner every inch of it to get to a result.

It is time to have courage for my future instead of being terrified of it or worrying. Wondering what to do next. I suppose I plan ahead to much, and over analyse every little thing because I need to know what is happening. It causes me headaches. Migraines. It is about the here the now, and making the most of what is before me. Enjoying every moment every bite of a meal everything I hold close to me. It is then that I can hopscotch onto the next step in life eagerly.

“It’s like you embarass yourself if you say something, and you embarass yourself if you don’t.”

I embarrass myself a lot. Brewing up the courage to talk to someone I don’t know, well it is frightening. I sometimes observe people as they walk by and wonder what is going on in their life. It may be that there problems would make mine seem insignificant. That is why having the courage to smile at a stranger or passerby, even a small glimpse of hope could make their day that much more meaningful.

I want to erase the word rejection from my mind, because I always sit around,expecting something extravagant to happen. Don’t go looking for it they say the right person will find you. Sitting around twiddling my thumbs? I’m over doing that. Although this doesn’t mean I run around in a loin cloth like Tarzan looking for my other half. I just want the courage to be able to be honest. To stop making situations up in my head. Instead I want to make them happen and say when the time arose, “you know what, I like you.” Then walk away, leaving a trail of mystery behind me. In reality my throat turns dry my heart seems to beat faster than the beat of a dubstep song. I walk towards them then turn around, and shuffle away awkwardly. Like a lost duck I proceed back to my cave of shyness.

“For my life is simply unbearable without a bit of courage.” ―Cowardly Lion

I no longer want to be Courage the Cowardly Dog hiding from everything. Nor do I want to be the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz. I want to be the courageous person who has a name that sounds like Narnia. Great things happen there animals speak and dance. People take risks they never would in reality. I need to find my own Narnia on Earth. To step inside the magical wardrobe and step back out full of courage.

The next time I am in a situation where I am full of doubt or fear I shall remember the twenty seconds of courage rule of pure craziness because it’s what I need. To stop worrying about how stupid I look or what someone might say. Even if I lose a bit of pride. My new goal is to try twenty seconds of courage whenever the feeling of doubt creeps down my spine. I may meet amazing people from it accomplish and do things I never thought I could do. Perhaps gain a life lesson. Whatever it is something great will come out of it. If you fail once fail again better. Try again and again until you succeed. I hope I have left you with some wisdom tooth, minus the tooth. And something that will help you be Courageous with a capital C.

“If you summon your courage to challenge something, you’ll never be left with regret. How sad it is to spend your life wishing, ‘If only I’d had a little more courage.’ Whatever the outcome may be, the important thing is to step forward on the path that you believe is right.” — Daisaku Ikeda

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