This beautiful song by John Mayer breaks down the three stages of life, friends, lovers or nothing. Here I shall explain a few more;
Friendzone: There are songs dedicated to it. There are pages dedicated to it. Heck, there’s a word dedicated to it. We have all been there. We have all led or done the “leading” of someone on. It is a never ending cycle down the valley of feeling secretly sorry for yourself. Males seem to get especially distgruntled at this concept. Any girl that did not give them the second thought of day is considered to be a heartless creature with snakes sprouting from their head, also known as Medusa. But alas laddies consider this first.
“I don’t want to ruin the friendship”
He or she could be your best/good friend, the most hilarious person. So much so that you spit out your juice all over their face with pure joy and laughter. You may skip to the bakery together, snapchat eachother flirtatious photos with endless winky faces. Sip from the same straw because yes you are that adventurous. Sing along to “your” song together. But if there is no physical attraction there at the start, middle, or end of this friendship with this person whatsoever, and you shudder at the thought of lip locking with them. Well, you know what to do. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Run for the hills like the Sound of Music.
Friends with benefits: “We’re just friends” You are far more than that if you become physically and emotionally involved with this person. If you use this as an excuse to not settle down, to get a few moments of “fun” meaningless pleasure with no strings attatched, or because you feel you will get bored with this person. Think about it. You either want to be with someone or you do not.
Lovers: Some people are meant to fall in love/for eachother. But not meant to be together. No matter how good looking the person is or how many approvals they have from your friends, looks and charm only last so long. The excitment of meeting the person eventually fades. You wonder why you are dating when you don’t even know little things about eachother. Understandable if you don’t know their favourite colour. But if you start to forget their name completely, maybe it’s time to forget the relationship.
After the break up there is the “we can still be friends because I feel sorry for you speech” The awkwardness in the air can be sliced and spread onto toast. If you weren’t friends before whatsoever, there is no point digging around in the sand with a spade trying to hold onto something that was never there. Because you will most likely grab onto a jellyfish, And get stung. You meet someone, you date them, then you decide to be friends. Perhaps switch the order up next time and see what happens.
Ex: One definition of ex means without. You are without this person for a reason. At times after a fresh break up you are two candles (scented of course) roaming the earth, when you lock eyes, that flame ignites all over again. It is a habit that almost seems impossible to break because you know them, are comfortable with them, can even fart around them. They are the wax from the candle you can’t seem to shake off. Shake it out shake it out. Oh woaaah. At the end their true colours will come out if you continue to let the flame burn. Spit on it, throw water on it. You can find a much nicer candle.
Second defintion: Carpet tiles offered at a sale price. You may be available but you should not let yourself be walked all over. If you were that important to them they would not have let you go in the first place. You broke up because something was broken that could not be fixed. If you keep going back to this person you will continue to feel cheap when you wake up, like those poor carpet tiles on sale. Liking pages on Facebook such as “his new girlfriend/boyfriend looks like a sloth” to drop hints at your ex will get you no where. It’s immature so stop. You know where the unfriend button is. You will never move on if your personal life is such a tangled web of drama and hate that not even a spider would go near. All you can do is remember the memories and move on, instead of hating this person. Because wouldn’t you rather this person be with someone else and happy, instead of with you and not happy?
Nothing: People are like onions, they have many layers. They make you cry, and at times you wonder why you decided to choose this onion in the first place. If you are sitting in bed and emotionally distressed after a bad break up or simply because you are single and long for someone to cuddle at night instead of your hot water bottle. Then let all the emotions out. Everyone breaks down once in awhile. Click on the quote below for a few chuckles.
Like number 24 says, you don’t NEED anyone. There is no rush to settle down. You are discovering new things and new people everyday. You are single, me, myself, and pie. You can look at a person and not feel guilty for “checking” them out. You have no obligation to invest your emotions into a relationship, spending everyday with that person then feeling clueless after it is over, wondering what do with yourself. As you grow older you will learn to choose happiness. Instead of spending your precious time with someone and not feeling happy.
We cross bridges all the time between the three categories, friends, lovers or nothing. If you are stuck in a pickle (hopefully not literally) simply listen and let John Mayer serenade you with his dashing voice:
Friends, lovers, or nothing There can only be one Friends, lovers, or nothing There'll never be the inbetween So give it up.